I joined a few Facebook groups when I moved to Buckhorn because it’s good for business, and I wanted to keep in touch with Buckhorn and the surrounding communities in various ways. Anyway, I’ve noticed a few funny (to me, at least) quirks and comments in these groups, which may be partly due to the small-town experience. Then again, it’s probably part of every community Facebook group, no matter how big the city or town. And so begins a several-part series on this very topic. First off, we have the Facebook Detective.
If you belong to any local Facebook community groups, you’ll eventually notice a particular kind of personality that appears again and again. I call them the Facebook detectives. They are deeply committed to solving mysteries that, in most cases, aren’t really mysteries at all.
These groups usually start with good intentions. Someone creates a community page so neighbors can share useful information – road closures, local events, lost pets (stay tuned for a separate entry on this subject), things like that. And for a while, it works exactly as intended. Then gradually something else begins to happen. Every small event within a thirty-mile radius becomes a breaking news investigation.
Someone posts: “It’s a holiday weekend. Is Foodland open today?” You stare at the question for a moment, wondering whether the person posting it has ever heard of something called a website. Or a phone. Or even the possibility of driving past the store to see if the lights are on.
But no. The question must be taken to the community. Within minutes, the comment section fills with responses.
“I think so.” “They were open yesterday.” “My cousin works there but she’s on vacation this week.” “Try calling or checking their website.” Which, of course, was the one obvious step that somehow never occurred to the person before their post went live.
Another favorite appears whenever a police car drives by with its lights flashing.
“I just saw a police car go down Main Street with its siren on. Does anyone know what’s going on?” This question is asked as though the residents of the Facebook group have immediate access to a live police command center.
You can almost imagine the replies. “Checking the police scanner now.” “My neighbor’s brother’s friend is a cop. I’ll text him.” “Could be anything.” Which is usually the correct answer, though it rarely satisfies the group’s investigative spirit.
Then there are the sky sightings. Someone posts at night: “I just saw a light in the sky moving west. Does anyone know what it was?” Now the theories begin. “Drone.” “Military aircraft.” “Satellite.” “Meteor.” “Starlink.” “Aliens.” Someone inevitably suggests aliens.
The truth is usually far less dramatic. It was probably a plane. Or a satellite. Or a meteor that burned out in a few seconds. But where’s the fun in that?
Another classic involves wildlife. “I was driving down Sideroad 27 and saw a dead bobcat on the side of the road. Does anyone know what happened?” At this point, the logical explanation presents itself immediately. Someone hit it. But again, the Facebook detectives go to work.
“Was it near the old barn?” “I saw a deer running across the road earlier.” “Hope everyone involved is okay.” Which is thoughtful, although the poor bobcat unfortunately did not survive the incident.
What makes these posts so fascinating isn’t the questions themselves. Curiosity is a perfectly normal human instinct. It’s the idea that the entire community must be consulted before the most obvious explanation is considered. A store might simply be open. A police car is responding to a call because, you know, that’s kind of what they do. A bright light in the sky might simply be an airplane. And a bobcat on the road probably encountered a vehicle weighing two tons and traveling at highway speed.
Yet the investigation continues. Dozens of comments appear as neighbors speculate, analyze, and occasionally argue about what might be happening in their otherwise quiet corner of the world.
In a strange way, these posts reveal something slightly comforting about human nature. People want to know what’s going on around them. They want to share information and be in the know. They want to feel connected to the small daily events of their community, even if those events turn out to be less mysterious than they initially appear.
johnberkovich.com 