I was in a packed restaurant the other day with some friends and noticed, at a table nearby, a server getting lambasted by a customer because the service was slow, and their expectations weren’t being met. The server, we will call her Chelsea, was close to tears and while the hardened among us would say, “Suck it up,” it is not that simple. Granted, prices have gone up everywhere – including dining establishments – and as a result, our expectations as a customer are higher. However, that does not excuse berating a server for things beyond their control such as the speed and efficiency of the kitchen staff, which is often understaffed at the best of times.
Treating your restaurant server well is not only a basic courtesy but also contributes to a positive dining experience for everyone involved. The way you interact with your server will impact the atmosphere of the restaurant and even influence the quality of service you receive. Consider these tips when engaging with your restaurant server.
Respect is paramount. Treat your server with the same level of respect and courtesy that you would expect to receive yourself. In short, follow the golden rule. Put yourself in their shoes and walk a mile in them. Remember that they are there to assist you and ensure you have an enjoyable dining experience. Acknowledge their presence, make eye contact, use their name if they give it – and ask for it if they don’t or aren’t wearing a name tag – and greet them politely. Using phrases like “please” and “thank you” goes a long way in showing appreciation for their efforts. It has been said numerous times how you treat your server is a window to your personality and says much about what kind of person you are.
Patience is essential. Restaurants can be busy environments, especially during peak hours. Understand that your server is attending to multiple tables simultaneously and may not always be able to tend to your needs immediately. Exercise patience and avoid showing frustration if there are delays in service. A little understanding goes a long way in fostering a positive relationship with your server.
Communication is key to ensuring that your dining experience meets your expectations. If you have any dietary restrictions, allergies, or specific preferences, don’t hesitate to communicate them to your server. Additionally, if there are any issues with your meal or service, address them politely and directly with your server rather than letting them escalate. Constructive feedback allows the restaurant to improve and ensures a better experience for future patrons.
Tipping appropriately is a fundamental aspect of treating your server well. Controversial as it is, in many countries, tipping is customary and is a sizable portion of a server’s income. Aim to tip at least 15-20 percent of the total bill, depending on the level of service provided. If your server has gone beyond to ensure your satisfaction, consider leaving a larger tip. Remember that tipping is not mandatory, but it is a way to show gratitude for excellent service and it may pay dividends down the road with an extra portion added to your meal or dessert at no charge.
Recognize the humanity of your server. Behind the uniform, they are individuals with their own lives, struggles, and aspirations. It is not a demeaning job – it is an honorable one. It’s no myth that some servers in high-end restaurants earn $100,000 a year. For many, it is a career choice and eventually leads to management or even ownership of the establishment. Take the time to engage with them on a personal level, if appropriate, and show genuine interest in their well-being. A simple inquiry about their day or a friendly smile will brighten their shift and create a more enjoyable atmosphere for everyone.
In summary, treating your restaurant server well involves a combination of respect, patience, communication, and empathy. By acknowledging their efforts, exercising patience, communicating your needs effectively, tipping appropriately, recognizing their humanity, and being mindful of your behavior, you will contribute to a positive dining experience for both you and your server.
John Berkovich Talks 