There are certain unwritten rules of civilization that, if followed, make life smoother for everyone. Hold the door for the person behind you. Don’t blast your music on public transit – and that includes airports. And perhaps most sacred of all: stand right, walk left on the escalator or airport moving sidewalk.
It’s not complicated. It’s practically a universal law, like gravity or the fact that socks vanish in the laundry. And yet, day after day, some people treat the escalator or airport moving sidewalk like their personal moving park bench, planting themselves dead center, blocking the flow, and throwing an entire system of unspoken order into chaos.
You’ve seen them. You’ve been stuck behind them. The escalator stander – blissfully oblivious, left hand gripping the rail, the other scrolling their phone, unaware that behind them is a growing line of commuters and people trying to catch their flight, silently screaming. Some of us want to walk. Some of us need to catch trains, flights, meetings, or simply escape the mall before the background music drives us insane. But no. We’re trapped behind Captain Oblivious, riding the world’s slowest conveyor belt.
What makes it worse is when they stand side by side. One on the right, one on the left, creating a human barricade that turns the escalator into a moving wall. Congratulations, you’ve achieved maximum inefficiency. You’ve successfully screwed up a mechanism designed to keep people flowing, transforming it into a stationary queue where time stands still.
And then there are the “leaners.” Oh, the leaners. These are the folks who not only stand still but sprawl across the escalator step like it’s their living room couch, elbows out, shopping bags everywhere, daring anyone to squeeze past. God forbid you try to politely clear your throat or mutter an “excuse me.” They don’t budge. They barely notice. They’ve claimed this three-square-foot patch of moving staircase as their sovereign territory.
I sometimes wonder what’s going through their heads. Do they not know the rule? Were they raised in some escalator-less wilderness? Or do they just not care? Because trust me, people care. Commuters care. Airport travelers with 45 minutes until boarding definitely care. The sighs, the eye-rolls, the passive-aggressive toe-tapping are all signs that society is silently revolting against you, dear escalator hog.
And don’t tell me “well, the escalator is moving, so why walk?” Because the escalator is not supposed to replace walking, it’s supposed to assist it. Walking plus an escalator equals efficiency. Standing across the whole thing equals mutiny. This isn’t a carnival ride. This isn’t a scenic tour. It’s a transportation tool. Respect it.
John Berkovich Talks 