It’s always struck me as strange — the very thing that holds me together is also the thing I wrestle with the most. For me, that’s my spiritual side. It grounds me, lifts me, and gives me perspective, and yet it’s been a struggle for twenty years.
I’ve asked myself countless times: Why would something so central to my well-being feel like a battle? Shouldn’t it be easy, natural, automatic? But I’ve come to realize the answer is simple: the things that matter most are often the hardest to maintain.
We don’t struggle with things that don’t matter. We don’t wrestle with things that don’t shape us. It’s the core pieces of our lives — faith, relationships, health — that demand the most effort and, often, the most patience. They’re also the places where setbacks sting the most, because we know how much is at stake.
For me, spirituality isn’t just a matter of belief; it’s a matter of survival. It’s the anchor I return to when everything else feels like it’s slipping. And maybe that’s why the struggle exists: because I know how much I need it. The enemy of my peace isn’t in the outside world; it’s in the small, daily choices of whether I show up, read, pray, attend, or drift. It’s also the battle in my mind that I must fight every day.
The struggle itself isn’t proof of failure. It’s proof that the fight is worth it. If something has held me together this long, even imperfectly, it deserves my persistence.
So yes, I wrestle with my spiritual side. But I also know it’s the very reason I’m still here to wrestle at all.
John Berkovich Talks 