You’re driving a few miles over the speed limit, safe enough not to be a danger to anyone. You just passed the police with their radar out, but you don’t get pulled over because you’re driving responsibly, keeping up with traffic, and unless you are in a school zone, which you are not, they always give you some leeway. A good song or podcast keeps you company, the coffee in the holder is still hot, and everything feels like it’s moving in rhythm.
Then the bumper bully shows up; the tailgating tyrant who thinks staying two feet behind your car on the three-lane in each direction freeway is a good idea that will get them to their destination faster, fix their life, and maybe fix the budget deficit while they’re at it. First off, no, I’m not crawling along in the left lane five miles per hour under the speed limit, I’m in the middle lane cruising six miles per hour over the limit. I am not a hazard, and I am not in your way. I’m in my lane, and everyone but you is okay with how things are going.
So why are you so close that I can read your VIN in my rearview mirror? If I even sneeze and accidentally tap the brakes a bit strong, our next stop is the hospital or the morgue, along with several others on this busy stretch of road. And for what? Do you think I’ll magically speed up out of fear or obligation if you get close enough? Sorry to disappoint and not cater to your ego and idiocy but not only do I have to consider the car in front of me and stay a safe distance, your aggressive tailgating isn’t going to open a portal to another dimension where all cars part like the Red Sea and you’re suddenly king of the highway and the only one on the road.
This isn’t a video game; this is real life. And you’re playing chicken with someone who wants to arrive at their destination with the least amount of stress. And here’s the kicker — you could literally just change lanes. You have choices, especially on a multi-lane road. There’s a whole other lane over there with no one in it. But instead, you choose to tailgate, as if your purpose isn’t about speed but control. You don’t want to pass. You want to push and feed your ego. And that’s not safe driving — it’s just obnoxious and dangerous behavior with a steering wheel in a moving weapon.
Let’s be clear: tailgating doesn’t make you early. It makes you stressed and reckless, and puts everyone at risk. Studies show you might save a handful of seconds. Still, you’re trading those for a higher risk of an accident, a potential ticket, or a ride in an ambulance. And if you think flashing your high beams adds weight to your cause, it doesn’t. It makes you the jackass tailgating and blinding the person ahead. I’ll move if and when it’s safe, not before then. I’m not sideswiping someone because you are an idiot and don’t think logically. Aggression behind the wheel doesn’t make you bold; it makes you selfish, stupid, and dangerous. What if you kill or injure someone? How good will you feel then about your NASCAR imitation?
So the next time you feel entitled to creep up on someone’s bumper like life revolves around you, take a deep breath, ease off the gas, give people space, and remember that you will eventually rear-end someone if you keep doing this. Guaranteed. We’re all trying to get somewhere. But we want to arrive without anxiety, whiplash, or a trip to the emergency room or worse.
John Berkovich Talks 