Most of us have said it at one time or another, especially after a few setbacks. “I’ll start fresh on Monday,” “Tomorrow is a new day,” or one of my favorites, “I’m resetting everything next week with new goals, a better attitude, and a stronger commitment this time.” Escaping the “start over” trap can be difficult, especially if we have done it several times.
It sounds hopeful and exciting — maybe even productive — but it can also be a trap and a vicious cycle; a clever, emotionally dressed-up form of procrastination. It sounds hopeful because behind the “start over” mentality is often a quiet kind of shame. You had a few bad days and spiraled; you lost your rhythm, focus, and motivation. However, instead of just rejoining the path where you left off, you return to the starting line because “This time will be different,” even though history says it never is. Not once.
You start a new journal, online or handwritten, set up a spreadsheet to track everything, incorporate a new set of rules and a new plan to be flawless … and we mean flawless. No screw-ups, no bad days, no missing the mark of perfection by a millimeter or one less step or one more morsel of food than you were supposed to take today.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned: You don’t need to start over; you just need to keep going. There is no magic formula, nor do you need another paid guru, another newsletter, or a magic start date for the seventy-third time. When we constantly restart, we teach ourselves that mistakes erase progress — and they don’t. Life isn’t a video game with a reset button. It’s a long hike along a trail. Sometimes you stumble over that rock protruding from the ground, take a water break, sit on a rock or stump, or walk in circles for an hour because you went down one of the side trails and got distracted. However, the main trail is still there, and the only way forward is forward.
I’ve lived in that loop: “Bad” few days = New plan Monday. Fall off again = “Okay, next week for real and perfect execution every day.” Repeat until exhausted, frustrated, and convinced I’m just not disciplined enough. However, what I really needed wasn’t more discipline. It was more compassion. To forgive myself for a few rough days without deciding my whole life needs a reboot. I needed to stop overcomplicating things and say, “That happened. Now I keep going.” It’s not fancy, and there is no dopamine rush from that mindset. But it is the only thing that actually works long-term. So, don’t wait for Monday if you’re reading this on a random Thursday where you stuffed yourself at lunch or a my life sucks Friday that included a complete meltdown. Just rejoin the path with no fanfare and no starting-over mentality.
John Berkovich Talks 