One of the great things about having a public forum like this blog is that it can sometimes be cathartic and sage advice for me, addressing my many flaws, as much as it (hopefully) is time well spent for the audience. So, without further delay, let’s get going.
We all do it, even though we say we don’t and know we shouldn’t, because it doesn’t solve anything. And what do we all do? We worry. What if this situation happens? What if that happens? I want to start a business, but what if it fails? What if … ? What if . .. ? What if … ?
How many times have you lost sleep over something that never actually happened? I have many times. How many times did you worry about a job interview or getting that new client you want, only to get the job or the client. I have. Or stressed over a conversation that went fine but you played it over and over in your mind, looking for something, anything, to critique. I have. Or spent hours imagining worst-case scenarios that never materialized. I … well, you know what I’m going to say.
Most of us, including me, do this more often than we’d like to admit. Our brains seem wired to anticipate real and imaginary problems, but we usually waste energy on things outside our control. Worrying doesn’t prevent bad things from happening, but it does steal our time, drain our energy, and keep us stuck.
However, we can fix our wiring by focusing on what we can control and letting go of the rest. More importantly, we need to stop overthinking and start doing.
The Illusion of Control
We like to think we have control over more than we do. We plan, prepare, prepare some more, and stress, hoping to prevent disappointment, a few detours, or failure. But here’s the hard truth:
We can’t control what other people think of us.
We can’t control how the economy shifts.
We can’t control and change the past.
We can’t control every outcome, no matter how much we plan and execute.
Yet, we let these uncontrollable things dictate our mood, confidence, and willingness to take consistent action.
What if, instead of worrying about things we can’t change, we focused on what we actually have power over? What we do have power over is doing something. Think about the biggest things holding you back right now. Are they real obstacles, or are they merely fears of things that might go wrong and then what do we do? Most of the time, it’s the latter. We hesitate, overthink, and stall, going down the black hole of paralysis by analysis, convincing ourselves we need more thinking time, more information, or the “perfect” moment to act. But perfect conditions don’t exist. The solution is to start anyway do something, anything, every day. Granted, we will take more action on some days than others, but so what? At least you’re moving forward. So, send the resume for a new job, make the contacts, write the article or novel you’ve wanted to write for years (and for crying out loud, don’t edit as you write. You can do that later), make the sales calls, go into the gym, and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing when you are there.
Just do it, and things will fall into place. If you wait until you feel ready, armed to the teeth with information and “All-determined up” as a friend says, you’ll wait forever. How often have we started what has been nagging at us and how do we feel as we move things along? Pretty darn good. How many times have we awakened and not felt like doing anything, but instead, we got started and felt so much better? I’m thinking it’s every time. Instead of all of these things doing laps in your mind, you just begin even if it’s a sheer act of will start, and then before you realize it, you are on a roll, and it gets easier and even fun.
A big part of overthinking and not acting comes from wanting guarantees. We want to know exactly how things will play out before we commit. However, life doesn’t work like that. No one has it all figured out. The most successful people aren’t the ones who made perfect plans; they’re the ones who took messy action, maybe stumbled out of the gate, fell in the mud a few times, got back up and adapted as they went. You and I can do the same.
John Berkovich Talks 