Regret is one of the most painful emotions we can experience and I’ve been there a few times. Whether it’s something we said, a decision we made, or an opportunity we missed, the feeling of wishing we could go back and do things differently can be overwhelming. It’s easy to get stuck in the past, replaying our mistakes repeatedly, but that thinking only keeps us tethered to a version of ourselves that no longer exists. The key to moving forward is accepting that while we can’t change the past, we can shape our present and future.
The first step in dealing with regret is to allow yourself to feel it. Feeling remorse or disappointment is natural. But don’t let regret consume you. Feel it, acknowledge it, and then let it go. Holding onto it too tightly only prolongs the pain and prevents healing.
Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel and process the regret, the next step is to reflect on the lessons learned. Every decision, whether good or bad, offers a valuable lesson. Instead of focusing solely on what went wrong, consider what you can take away from the experience. What did you learn about yourself? About your values? What choices would you make differently now? Shifting your focus from self-blame to growth can help transform regret into a tool for personal development.
Next, practice self-compassion. Regret often comes hand-in-hand with self-criticism. We’re quick to berate ourselves for our past mistakes, which only deepens the wound. Be kind to yourself. Understand that nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being human. Treat yourself with the same understanding and forgiveness that you would extend to someone going through a similar struggle.
Moving forward also means releasing the illusion that the past could have been different. While it’s tempting to wish you had done things differently, the reality is that you made the best choices you could with the knowledge and resources you had at the time. Hindsight may be 20/20, but it doesn’t change the fact that your past self was doing the best it could. Letting go of the “what ifs” frees you to focus on the present and future, where you do have control.
Take small steps toward healing. Whether it’s making amends if necessary, forgiving yourself, or simply letting go of the guilt, every action you take toward moving on will help you release the grip of regret. And remember, healing is a journey—there’s no perfect way to deal with regret, but each day is an opportunity to create a new chapter in your life.
You can’t change the past, but you can choose how it influences your future. Let go of the burden of regret, learn from it, and use it to become a stronger, wiser version of yourself.
John Berkovich Talks 