As I continued my journey into the darker underbelly of human existence, I wanted to delve further into the topic of homelessness from an unfamiliar perspective, so here goes. One side of homelessness that gets little press is the exhaustion that goes with it. Living in a shelter is exhausting and drains individuals physically, mentally, and emotionally. The daily struggle for basic needs, the constant stress, and the sense of hopelessness take a severe toll on those affected. Understanding the exhausting nature of these conditions is essential to understand the depth of their impact on human lives.
Living without a permanent home forces individuals to spend significant energy on survival. Basic needs such as food, water, and shelter, which are taken for granted by most, become daily challenges. Homeless people often lack access to regular and nutritious meals, leading to malnutrition and weakened immune systems. Their diet usually consists of fast and prepackaged foods handed to them on the street or made in the homeless shelter and eaten cafeteria-style with 40-50 others who, despite not having assigned seats, often claim one – and newcomers are expected to respect that. Mealtimes in a shelter are scheduled and if you miss one, you go without food until the next set time – or panhandle. The homeless must navigate public spaces for places to sleep, often moving from one temporary location to another while being at the mercy of those in charge. There are all sorts of rules in a shelter (as there should be) that must be followed, or one faces the possibility of a temporary or permanent eviction. Sleeping in the cafeteria outside of mealtimes is not allowed, neither is female companionship even in public spaces. Visitors must be met outside and are not allowed within the doors of the shelter.
Sleeping on the streets or in shelters is not restful, as these environments are usually noisy, unsafe, and uncomfortable. Shelters have early wake-up times when everyone must be out of the barracks-style sleeping arrangements and not allowed back in, even for a desperately needed nap, until bedtime. However, bedtime will run from 9 to 11 p.m. with little consideration for those who like to go to bed early, and the stragglers often arrive drunk or under the influence of drugs. If you wake up during the night to use the restroom, you usually find an unflushed toilet full of urine or feces with an extra portion on the floor. Quite often, that is accompanied by someone passed out in the communal area of the bathroom or shooting up with drugs that were smuggled into the shelter. During the day, there is no lounge or place to proverbially put up one’s feet and relax for a few hours. The lack of proper rest and downtime worsens physical exhaustion, making it harder for individuals to function during the day. But function they must if they want to get out of their situation. Those who lead a clean lifestyle are often surrounded by heavy smokers, drinkers, drug addicts, and ones whose vocabulary is drenched in profanity.
One feels as if one is constantly on the move and never able to settle. I have known individuals who end up using limited funds to stay in a hotel for a night to relax and get some solid sleep and privacy while risking their place in the shelter. They consider it an investment in their mental health. Without a vehicle, a ten-minute drive to an appointment or job interview can be an all-day affair using the bus routes, an expensive taxi, or on foot. Minor illnesses and injuries can become serious health problems without sufficient income to afford healthcare, such as prescription drugs, further draining their energy and resources.
The mental toll of homelessness is immense. One’s dignity is robbed as they reach for that croissant that someone dropped on the ground, walk in borrowed shoes that are a size too big and long past their best before date because all their clothes disappeared, wear a fleece shirt and heavy sweatpants in the sweltering heat of August because that is all the shelter had, and are in a constant state of dehydration and bewilderment — wondering how they ended up in such a place. Despite being paying customers, they are often kicked out of coffee shops simply for looking homeless, looked at with disdain by passersby, and hurled insults at. This further erodes their feelings of self-worth.
Constant worry about where the next meal will come from, where to sleep safely, feelings of hopelessness and abandonment, and how to protect oneself from potential threats leads to chronic stress. This stress is a constant companion, gnawing away at mental well-being and leading to depression, anxiety, and mental breakdowns. In a shelter, fights often break out with little provocation, and drug overdoses are common. The brain is in a perpetual state of alertness, scanning for potential dangers and solutions to immediate problems. This heightened awareness is exhausting and leaves little room for rest or relaxation. If one can afford nutritious foods such as fruit and vegetables, there is rarely a fridge to store them, and if there is, the food is frequently stolen — so one learns to buy for immediate consumption only. This means more frequent visits, on foot, to the grocery store. Those with common stories of how they ended up homeless often become friends and protect each other during their time in the shelter. However, friendships quickly turn sour if the wrong thing is said or done. Tension runs high as lives are routinely threatened when a drug deal goes wrong and several shelter residents spend the day in a drug-induced haze, their eyes nearly popping out of their head and their behavior unpredictable.
Decision fatigue is another significant aspect of mental exhaustion. The need to make numerous critical decisions daily—often with limited options—overwhelms cognitive resources. Choices about allocating scarce money, whether to trust strangers in the shelter or befriend them for safety or how to navigate complex social services systems are mentally draining. Over time, this relentless decision-making process depletes an individual’s mental stamina, making it harder to think clearly or plan for the future.
Emotionally, homelessness is isolating and stigmatizing. Society often views homeless individuals through a lens of judgment and blame, leading to feelings of shame, hopelessness, and low self-worth. This social stigma erodes confidence and self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to seek help or advocate for themselves. The constant rejection and marginalization from mainstream society creates a spiral of hopelessness and despair.
Relationships, which are crucial for emotional support, often suffer under the strain of homelessness and poverty. Family ties can be stretched to the breaking point due to the pressures of financial instability. Friends may distance themselves due to the stigma associated with homelessness or because the homeless person lacks the means to take part in social activities. They may even criticize them, and heap further hurt on them. The resulting social isolation compounds emotional exhaustion as individuals lose the crucial support networks that could provide some respite from their struggles.
The inertia stemming from homelessness and poverty usually creates a vicious cycle that is daunting. Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion reduces an individual’s ability to look for and maintain employment, engage with social services, or pursue education and training opportunities. Individuals stay trapped in survival mode without the energy or resources to improve their situation. This cycle perpetuates their condition, as the continuous struggle to meet basic needs leaves little room for long-term planning or self-improvement. Exhaustion permeates every side of their existence.
For instance, a homeless individual may find it challenging to secure a job without a stable address, clean clothes, or reliable transportation. The physical and mental exhaustion from sleeping rough and the emotional burden of societal judgment make it even harder to perform well in job interviews or maintain consistent work performance. Similarly, someone living in a shelter might not be able to afford the time or money needed for further education or vocational training, perpetuating their low-income status.
Addressing the exhaustion of homelessness requires comprehensive solutions that go beyond immediate relief. Providing stable housing and a place the homeless person can call their own is a critical first step, as it offers a foundation for individuals to rebuild their lives. Access to healthcare, including mental health services, is equally important to address the physical and psychological toll of their experiences. Educational and employment opportunities tailored to the needs of the homeless can help break the cycle by providing pathways to self-sufficiency. In doing research for this blog, I watched as a building contractor dropped by the homeless shelter and hired two residents on the spot. At last report, the two hardworking men are now off social assistance, employed, and no longer homeless because someone gave them a chance.
Societal attitudes towards homelessness must shift from judgment to compassion. Reducing stigma and increasing understanding can foster a more inclusive environment where individuals feel supported rather than marginalized. Community-based programs that offer holistic support—addressing housing, healthcare, employment, spirituality, and social integration—are essential in helping individuals recover from the exhaustion of homelessness and regain their dignity and independence.
John Berkovich Talks 