Life is filled with relationships; many can be a source of joy, support, and growth. However, not all relationships are healthy. Despite repeated efforts to be kind, accommodating, and understanding, some people can drain your energy, damage your self-esteem, and hinder your personal growth. These toxic people make it difficult to maintain your emotional well-being. Sometimes, the only way to protect your mental and emotional health is to cut them out of your life.
Toxicity in relationships manifests in various ways. Toxic people will exhibit behaviors such as manipulation, chronic negativity, dishonesty, or a lack of empathy. They will repeatedly dismiss your boundaries, use guilt as a weapon, or make you feel inadequate. While everyone can have bad days, toxic individuals consistently create an unhealthy dynamic that leaves you feeling emotionally exhausted and undervalued.
Identifying toxic behavior is not always easy, especially when it involves someone close to you, such as a family member, friend, or coworker. You may excuse their actions, rationalize their behavior, or believe you can help them change. However, this rarely works and enduring toxic relationships will come at the expense of your well-being.
Maintaining a relationship with a toxic person can have serious and long-term consequences for your mental and emotional health. Relentless exposure to negativity, criticism, or manipulation leads to feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-worth. Toxic relationships can also affect your physical health, as chronic stress damages your immune system, sleep quality, and overall energy levels.
Over time, toxic individuals can undermine your confidence and make you doubt your perceptions with their chronic lying. They may tell the same story more than once, each time with a different ending. When you call them out on it, they will lie and deny or shut down the one-sided conversation, which will leave you even more drained and powerless. The longer you remain in such a relationship, the harder it becomes to see the situation objectively and take steps to protect yourself.
Being friendly and compassionate are admirable traits but are not always sufficient to change toxic behavior. Toxic individuals often operate from a place of deep insecurity, unresolved trauma, or entitlement, and they may not be willing or able to acknowledge their harmful actions.
We have all heard the expression, “Kill them with kindness,” but that doesn’t work with toxic people. In fact, it will backfire because it may enable the person to continue their dangerous patterns without accountability. If you consistently forgive someone who violates your boundaries, they will see it as permission to repeat the behavior. Your kindness becomes a double-edged sword in such cases, leaving you vulnerable to further harm.
When to Let Go
It is a deeply personal and sometimes painful decision to recognize when it’s time to cut someone out of your life. It often comes after repeated attempts to address the issues and set boundaries have failed. Here are some signs it may be time to let go:
Your Efforts Are One-Sided: If you are the only one trying to improve the relationship, it may be a sign that the other person is unwilling to change.
Your Boundaries Are Ignored: When someone consistently dismisses or disrespects your boundaries, it shows a lack of respect for your feelings and needs.
The Relationship Is Draining: If you feel emotionally exhausted or anxious after interacting with someone, the relationship is doing more harm than good.
You’ve Tried Everything: If you have communicated your concerns, set boundaries, and sought solutions without success, it is time to accept that the relationship is irreparable.
Your Well-Being Is Suffering: When a relationship negatively impacts your mental, emotional, or physical health, prioritizing your well-being becomes essential.
Set Clear Boundaries: Before cutting ties, make a final effort to communicate your boundaries. This likely will be ignored or you’ll be labelled as the stupid one but it ensures you have done everything possible to salvage the relationship.
What to do once you have gone No Contact:
Seek Support: Untangling yourself from a toxic relationship is emotionally exhausting, especially if it is family, and you will experience anger at yourself at being manipulated like you were and even anger during moments of reflection. However, lean on supportive friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate your way forward. You can also journal your feelings and just let it pour out and saying the hell with spelling, grammar, and syntax.
Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize activities that bring joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Building a positive and nurturing environment for yourself will help you heal and move forward.
Accept the Grief: It’s natural to feel sadness, anger, or guilt after ending a relationship. Allow yourself to process these emotions without judgment.
Stay Firm: Toxic individuals may try to re-enter your life or manipulate you into reestablishing contact using drama, questions about whatever, or guilt. Block them. Staying firm in your decision is crucial.
The Benefits of Letting Go
While cutting toxic people out of your life can be painful, it ultimately creates space and time for healthier relationships and personal growth. No longer will you feel manipulated, constantly criticized, brutalized, and dehumanized by those you thought you could love and trust.
Letting go also empowers you to set stronger boundaries and prioritize your own needs. It reinforces the belief that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, helping you rebuild your confidence and self-worth.
Some relationships are beyond repair despite your best efforts to be kind and understanding. Cutting toxic people out of your life is not an act of cruelty but an act of self-preservation. You create room for positivity, growth, and genuine connections by letting go of harmful relationships. Protecting your mental and emotional health is a priority; sometimes, the kindest thing you can do—for yourself and others—is to walk away forever.
John Berkovich Talks 